A friend of mine sent this email to me. I think it is very true to what I'm feeling right now. I haven't felt all of it yet but I know I will some day. I do like to hold my little Kathryn just because. and the few times that she has latched on is so satisfying. Its those times that makes me want to not give up on her and me. Its crazy how much you can love something so quickly. It took time to fall in love with Matthew but the love was instant the moment I saw her. She is my little angel that God has sent to me to take care of and to nurture. Thanks for the opportunity!
Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to alullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations. Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night. Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a babysleep. Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces whenI couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom. Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed ahungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy. Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.