Friday, May 27, 2011

Visual or not

I just read a blog post of one of my friends back in az that has a baby who is hearing impaired/ deaf for all purposes of the word. He has hearing aids and just got tubes put in his ears so she knows that people SEE he is different. She said she was glad to have a visual disablilty compared to one that people can't SEE. It made me think about Charlotte and how she really doesn't look different then any other little 13 month old. She's cute as can be and can now get around crawling. But She does have Spina Bifida.

Ok stop I don't know where I'm going with this.

1. Would I rather have a child that is visually disabled so that I get more empathy or people feeling sorry for me
2. Would I have it how it is and have a perfectly wonderful child that no one knows the difference and I'm treated the same everyday until they see her back or see that I change her diaper differently or just until something comes up and then have them ask questions.

I think part of me likes the empathy and the wow you must be an amazing person to care for a child with a disability. I got so many comments when I was pregnant with her about how I must be amazing as our Father in Heaven wouldn't send such a spirit into my life if I couldn't handle it. I liked feeling like maybe I had more purpose then.

Now no one knows us out here expect out ward family and even some of them and the new people don't know anything about our story and they just treat us like everyone else. So I don't have to explain whats wrong or anything cause she looks completely normal.

Sitting in the grocery cart she gets more ooo's How Cute your baby is then anyone. And I have so much pride in that. She's sitting up, holding her self up, smiling at all the people. Interacting with the world. She's perfect!

I don't know where I was going with this post but my friends post made an impact on me and well I was thinking about it and thought I'd try to get some thing written down about it. I haven't put much depth into my posts lately.

Anyway Charlotte is doing great. She's got a summer cold right now but other then that she's my getting into things, crawling, pulling to her knee's little girl!


Amanda said...

I'm feeling kinda guilty now, I didn't mean "my kid's disability is better then yours" type of attitude by any means to you or to my cousin and I think you know that. I was just writing my thoughts so I could remember them. I wrote those things back in April and my thoughts have even changed since then. You are probably like me in that we wouldn't take our babies any other way, we want the most for them but love them just as special as they are. Miss you Heather!

Sankat said...

Heather, I have no idea what it's like to have a child with a major disability like your sweet girl. All I can think, is how wonderful she looks and how amazing it is that she is doing so well physically. SO amazing. If anything, you know others will not treat your sweet girl differently and/or give her looks, which I have heard really hurts feelings in some cases. You are amazing, you are doing so well with everything.