I was just blog hopping and came across this post about a book called "Be Confident in Your Creation." I first read a post about a lady who has a 9 month old with SB who is feeling bad about the so called milestones that a normal 9 month old should have and they are not there yet. How people ask how old she is and say things like oh she'll be running around the house soon or she must be crawling all over and yet she's not close to either of those things.
It got me thinking about how I'm going to handle a child that may be slower in her learning. Kathryn is getting so smart and so fast. I've been gone only a month and I can tell she's learned a ton more in the last month then before. What is it going to be like to have a child that may be developmentally slower then her sister. How will I cope with people asking what she is doing at this age. and have to answer with a head nod or nothing at all. SB is such a different type of problem that I'm sure I won't want to go into all the in's and out's with everyone that we meet.
I know I have months before any of that happens. It's just the last few posts I've read just got me thinking about how I feel know and how it will feel later on.
One person who recommended the book below said she felt guilt the first 3 years, like it was all her fault. It was her job for 9 months to care and nourish the baby and yet something did in fact still go wrong. God was not to blame but her because she couldn't provide what that baby needed. I don't feel guilt at all and I don't blame God for any of this. Mostly I am grateful that she will still have a life to live. She'll be able to grow up and learn and have a job and get married. She'll have a loving family all around her. I'm just grateful that I can give her that love and care that she will need. I know it's going to be hard but who said motherhood wasn't. I'm grateful to the MOM's study to allow us to maybe help one of the aspects of SB that she won't have to go through. Even though I complain and feel sore and want to be home and miss my little Kathryn I know we're made the best choice that we could have for this little angel that kicks me all the time. Every kick reminds me that she has some mobility and that she's still there ready to join the world to be loved by her parents and family.
I found this scripture on the post with the book recommendation. I think I need to ponder and pray about this and really know that we are all God's creations even those with disabilities.
Psalm 139:13-14 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it well.
Below is an excerpt from the book.
"Did you realize that you are the work of the only true God? The One God who formed and created all heaven and earth and the same God who only has power to rule all creation is the same God who took the time and care to mold you as a potter molds the clay! This fact should make you jump out of your seat and praise God for your creation. You are the possession of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Perhaps some perspective will help you wrap your brain around your personal value. The price of a well-made quality guitar can range anywhere from $250.00 to $1,000.00. Now you take that same guitar and have a big name country music star sign the guitar all of a sudden, the value of that guitar skyrockets. The personal signature of an important person adds to the value of the object. You have the signature of God in your life. If the signature of a country music star can add to the value of a guitar, how much more would you say the signature of God adds to your value? You are priceless because God created your personally and left His fingerprint of expression."
I know God lives and that he love each and everyone of us. He doesn't do things by mistake or to just make our lives hard. He does things to make our lives better and to learn from the challenges that He throws our way.
Great afternoon to me for finding these posts to make me think more deeply about my feelings and gratitude for my baby.